Today (Monday) stung a little.
Ok, a lot.
Why do my feelings get hurt so easily?
I know everyone’s busy….I do. I just wish I could figure out how to get the message to the fucked up little emotions that overwhelm me.
I can’t stop crying… I feel like such an asshole right now. Not because of what happened, but because I can’t stop crying. I feel so stupid. And I feel stupid for feeling stupid. And I keep getting overwhelmed with it.
I know people are busy, and it’s not even the actual day. Just a “make-up” deal, kind of declared by a very sweet young lady. (PS thank you, if you’re reading this, it really did make my day Friday, thank you ). I didn’t expect much. Maybe a message in my inbox. Maybe a silly pic with a monkey or something with well wishes. But the longer the day went on, the clearer it became that I had hoped for too much, the harder it became to get a break from the bad thoughts.
I’m sorry I’m so stupid. I’m sorry I don’t know how to be an adult. I tried to shrug it off. I did. But I keep getting overwhelmed with this feeling of loneliness. I can’t control it. I want to. What’s wrong with me? Normal people don’t get this way.
I should have hid in bed a little longer, huh?