August 2010
2 posts
1 tag
Being Poor Can SUCK It. :P
Just a note, because I said I would say if I was taking another hide from the world.
This is not the case. Everything is ok, I am not hiding, not sad, not being silly. My power cord is just a piece of shit. It was only working sporadically for the last few weeks anyway, and this week it’s kind of given up the ghost. I’m going to keep trying to get it to work, but no luck so far, and...
3 tags
Peace, Love and Pitbulls
strandell:
We’re doing this now are we?
Oh my… I finally made one of these things. I know the lovely girlvanized was kind enough to say she’d seen me on one before, and a kind gentleman said I’d made his list, but this is the first time I’ve ever seen my mug in a crush list. Sorry, but this made my night. NO, you get validation from the most inane places. Blow me,...
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Saturday Night Shenanigans
If masturbating to Ryan Reynolds were illegal, that would probably explain why my left wrist is handcuffed to the bedpost.
And yes, in theory it could also explain the nightstick… but most nightsticks don’t go“buzzzzzzz”. :P
July 2010
84 posts
3 tags
Self Control Is Always Stronger When A Little Self...
So I went shopping earlier this evening.
I am so proud of myself… there wasn’t one jar of pickles anywhere in my cart.
Ok, semi-proud of myself… I did eye-fuck the living daylights out of a jar of Claussen pickles in the deli isle.
On the up-side, I think the moans the sight of those pickles elicited from me are the reason I got an appraising smile from the cute deli...
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How Am I Single? I Mean Really? :p
Truly, a mystery for the ages.
I present exhibit A. Conversation with a friend… who was kind enough to say I could share this.
Nick (7/30/2010 10:26:28 PM): Well, I’ll say I find your often silly state of mind…interesting…
aka p (7/30/2010 10:26:50 PM): intersting? that sounds fairly ominous
Nick (7/30/2010 10:27:20 PM): No, not ominous. Just lack of a...
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I Heart You... No, Not You...You, Yes You, My...
I didn’t want to be a tumblr crush anyway.
No.
Not at all.
Never seeing my face in one of those things hasn’t had any impact on my self-worth.
OH MY GOD WHERE THE HELL IS THE FUCKING COOKIE DOUGH?
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Carpenters are a Freaky Bunch
How it’s Made just informed me a that carpenters use a bench-plane to shave their wood.
Hmm, first of all I’ve never seen hairy wood (those carpenters must be some testosterone fueled little monkeys). I mean don’t get me wrong, I’ve been eye to eye with some scary hairy balls, but never seen actual wood sporting a bouffant.
And second of all, even if I did, wouldn’t...
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Friday Night Shenanigans
Me?
Oh, just trolling craigslist looking for someone to phone bone.
I mean… to discuss the geopolitical impact of the cheddar cheese that matured enough to be in a box of cheese its but decided to pursue higher education.
Wait, what?
Who said you need vodka to talk out of your ass? :P
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Henry...
There are Ugly Betty reruns on the TV Guide Channel.
These reruns have Henry in them.
I adore Henry.
I want to do all kinds of deviant things with him.
My sister is aware of this.
Conversation with sister about Henry (please note she’s as crass and sarcastic as me).
Sister: Congrats on the Job, any plans to celebrate?
Me: I’m watching Ugly Betty. So I’ll probably end up...
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Working Girl... or WORKING Girl?
Yay!
I got a job!
I start Monday.
Sure it’s a cut in pay and the average high-schooler could do it…but fuck me sideways if it isn’t work.
Just FYI, I was honestly going to apply for a position as a “phone actress” if I didn’t get another job within a month. I mean how hard can it be? :P
But look at that, she’s safe, with 2 days to spare.
2 Days? Shit that was cutting it close.
Maybe I’ll...
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When to Throw in the Towel... and a Few Pillow...
I have to admit defeat.
It is time I do laundry.
There are 3 pillow cases on each of my pillows.
Oh…and the top one is encased in a night shirt too.
What? I ran out of pillow cases. :P
Help Please?
I’m about to ask a very stupid question, because…well I’m not very bright, and tech savvy is not something I’d ever be accused of being.
So yeah, I’m going to commence now with my stupid question… rather questions.
Can I embed in tumblr?
How do you do it? I’m sorry if this is like a ridiculously stupid question, I don’t know anyone who can answer...
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Ode To A Shower Head- A Dramatic Reading...
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Unemployed: See also “eater of pickles” “player of...
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I'm Not A Man-Hater, But I Play One On The Phone...
Sister: Have you met anyone yet? There have to be some good guys out there.
Me: Yeah, some men have decent qualities, but I can replicate them with a fair amount of accuracy, all I need is some batteries and a vibrator.
Sister: Amber…
Me: Oh alright, I guess to complete the experience I should get a puppy too.
Sister: For the companionship?
Me: No, to sniff around at any new ass within a 10...
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Pickles and Waterpiks
Tonight I had planned on going out and grabbing dinner at taco bell (yay nachos supreme) followed up by going to see Inception (classy lady, I know right?).
Instead I spent an extra 10 minutes in the shower masturbating and then I ate three pickles straight from the jar, still wrapped in my towel.
I’m not sure, but I think I may need some sort of intervention.
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Ode to a Hand-held shower head…
Oh god.
Yes.
Yessssss.
Yessssssss.
Fuck me sideways you are gooo..
Uhh…
Guh..
Fu..
Oh my.
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Did I remember to rinse out my conditioner?
2 tags
Tell me something good... or something bad with...
My Google Voice Box is Lonesome…
give it some love?
571-393-1275
Call from a blocked number if you feel more comfortable (just hit *67 and wait for the dial tone before you dial, just tell me who you are at least :P).
Come on, you know you want to… or even if you don’t, do it anyway cause I’m giving you pouty face. :P :)
Friday Night Musings…. I need to get a...
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ianbrooks asked: So um...... listen, I was going to go try to find a cool monkey picture, so I went onto Google Image Search with the simplest of requests: "monkey".
Yeah, the VERY FIRST IMAGE is of a ingenious woman breast-feeding a monkey. THE FIRST IMAGE YOU SEE.
I'm sorry I just... I cant go on any further. Leave me behind! Save yourself! But tell the world my...
Yeah, the VERY FIRST IMAGE is of a ingenious woman breast-feeding a monkey. THE FIRST IMAGE YOU SEE.
I'm sorry I just... I cant go on any further. Leave me behind! Save yourself! But tell the world my...
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aerissa asked: So? How was Bluesfest? And don't say you weren't there, 'cause I have a picture.
http://aerissa.tumblr.com/post/810630995/aerissa-yup-thats-much-better-original
http://aerissa.tumblr.com/post/810630995/aerissa-yup-thats-much-better-original
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freddashdog asked: I left you a message in GVM, didn't you get it? Some lady Estel left it. ;)
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You Have A Great Big Hat...
I think it’s fucking awesome.
Who are you? :)
You have a lovely singing voice. :)
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My Google Voice Box is Lonesome...
give it some love?
571-393-1275
Only 1 message so far? :(
I’m going to go call the google voice numbers I passed out before calling yesterday…or the day before yesterday… or whenever it was.
Gird your loins folks, i’m about to get all kinds of stupid in yo voicemails.
You’re welcome in advance. :P
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I look like a cranky mccrankerton in the last photo… I would like the record to show I just haven’t brushed my teeth yet, and I’m hot and sweaty and not really feeling all kinds of “hot”.
That being said, Freddie did help set up my google voice (I’m an idiot)… so please help me put it to use!
Again, i’m an idiot so it goes straight to the record...
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I May Have Lied to You Fine People In My Last...
I just found my first “GREAT” love song to repeat into a voicemail.
I attempted to do a dry run with my bad accent.
It was an exercise in futility.
So I have to amend my previous statement.
I will ATTEMPT to recite love songs… but more likely you will just hear a mumble of old man laughing and the sporadic snort.
That is all… OH you are welcome in advance. hahaha
...
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Eureka!
I just realized that if I search “google voice” on my dashboard, a crap load of posts with numbers appear. So you poor souls who posted your number…be prepared for a special kind of stupid.
Check you cats later, I’m about to go read bad love songs in an equally bad accent to some unsuspecting voicemail boxes.
Yee-hahahahah
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Sorry for the Drawing Challenge spam today. Just trying to catch up.
I think I’m gonna call it a night…or at least go make sweet, sweet drooly love to my pillow.
Anyone wanna call and tell me a bedtime story… or I don’t know… sing lullabies to me?
Fine, fine you bunch of stick in the muds, don’t call. All I was gonna do was talk dirty and tell you about my...
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Pepsi Refresh Project →
judyschu:
some1s-sista:
Ok, tumblrers. I need your help. No money involved just a couple minutes of your time.
I live in the middle of nowhere, in literally one of the poorest counties in NC. There is NOTHING here for kids. Most, if and when they make it through high school, leave. because there seriously is no work and little opportunity.
A friend of mine, newly graduated from college and...
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ianbrooks asked: MONKEY! I just like yelling that, especially when you post monkey stuff :3
You're unemployed now too? Yeah, the having no money and not really being able to do anything or leave the house part sucks, but on the other hand, you can go to bed WHENEVER YOU WANT, because you're a growed-up and nobody can tell you what to do! I go to sleep at 6am most nights/days/mornings.
You're unemployed now too? Yeah, the having no money and not really being able to do anything or leave the house part sucks, but on the other hand, you can go to bed WHENEVER YOU WANT, because you're a growed-up and nobody can tell you what to do! I go to sleep at 6am most nights/days/mornings.
thisguyles asked: How have you been? You never call anymore, you never write. Hows your momandem? You might need to say that last sentence out loud...
I know some stuff about you, from previous posts, and well... I feel like that sometimes too. So I often send happy thoughts your way, I dont know if you get them or not, not sure if you are tuned into the frequency I am transmitting, but they are...
I know some stuff about you, from previous posts, and well... I feel like that sometimes too. So I often send happy thoughts your way, I dont know if you get them or not, not sure if you are tuned into the frequency I am transmitting, but they are...
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dadaoist asked: Body glitter: Yea, nea, or HELL YES!! ALL AVAILABLE COLORS ALL THE TIME!!
Truthful Tuesday - Not a Sad Sack of Shit...
Today’s episode of Truthful Tuesday isn’t going to be dark.
Today’s episode of Truthful Tuesday is going to be laughable.
In fact, if you and I ever meet (whoever you may be) you might be inclined to laugh in my face for what I’m about to share.
I know it’s popular, nay, mandatory to hate Nickelback.
I don’t.
In fact, their music video for...
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Truthful Tuesday... Rambling Edition
Warning/Disclaimer: If punk-ass whiny bitches bother you… you should skip this post. Just a heads up, I use Truthful Tuesday as a journal for my darker thoughts. Oh, and it’s like crazy long. If that’s a problem, just skip this one. Thanks for stopping by either way. :P
So Friday before last, I finally broke down and went to the free clinic.
I figured, “what the hell? The worst...
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